This is my first day at Eastern Point Retreat House in Gloucester, MA. A Jesuit run location, and like many older Jesuit houses it was an old estate in a beautiful location right on the ocean, surrounding it, a pristine setting, and many fabulous homes, which were certainly not here when this house was built. I arrived to stay 8 days in silence, a modified version of the Spiritual Exercises that is 30 days in its long form.
I misjudged my travel, figuring it would take a bit under 4 hours, and indeed, it took over 4 1/2. The travel through Connecticut was nasty, lots of stop and go, while crossing into Massachusetts brought nicer highways with easier flow. No wonder the people of MA led the revolution!
I got the flow of the place quickly, which indeed is wonderful, when I arrived. Having been on silent retreats before I knew the protocol. No talking after the first meal, all other times in silence. Meeting someone in the hallway is a head nod with a soft, "hello" or smile. No chit-chat, no humming to yourself, everything relaxed and gentle from the start.
Having not eaten, and the dining room closed, I hunted down an apple juice and peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the dining area. After that, I met for 15 minutes with my spiritual director for the week, Philomena. She's got a gentle West Indian accent, exactly where from I can't tell at the moment. She will help guide me through this week. At sign up online you give a brief bio of yourself, and why you are coming here, in this place, at this time. Philomena was prepared, had read the narrative, and was able to connect right away. After a bit of clarification, she offered her first piece of guidance. Rest. No thinking, no reading, no plans.
Rest.
Tonight.
I can tell this is the place I need to be now. I needed a vacation but felt so uncomfortable going somewhere, alone, to sit on a beach and eating by myself, forcing the relaxation. Here, I could feel immediately the connection to stillness. There are minimal plans, and each person is on their own journey and has their own reason for being here. For me, I will take each day as it unfolds; I will abide by the first words of guidance. I will rest, because I can feel the exhaustion in me, with all the pressure and deadlines and the to-do's that have developed since Mom's passing only 6 weeks ago. The exhaustion I cling to with no idea where I was going or what to really do next. So yes, rest is the agenda, as I can barely keep my eyes open and want to go to bed. It’s 8:30 pm.
